


Line My Eyes and Call Me Pretty

by Lara Winner (rah10381)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien is done, Are we surprised Adrien goes OTP?, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Genderbending Shenanigans, Humor, Lila salt fic... with a wedge of lime and a shot of Cuervo, Mari has the patience of a saint... with everyone but Lie-la, Nino is the real MVP, No we are not, This is as close to a crack fic as I'll ever get, boys being boys... and girls, pansexual kiddos, when in doubt just make out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22277212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rah10381/pseuds/Lara%20Winner
Summary: Adrien just wants to go on a date with Marinette.Lila just wants to stir up some trouble.So what's this about Marinette making out with another girl?
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe
Comments: 34
Kudos: 841





	Line My Eyes and Call Me Pretty

_Dressed me up in women's clothes_

_Messed around with gender roles_

_Line my eyes and call me pretty_

"I've been thinking...."

Peering up from her assigned reading, Marinette's lips curled into a smirk, "Oh dear. I thought I smelled something burning."

"Rude," Adrien shot back from where he sprawled out on her chaise, losing the fight with gravity as the pencil he attempted to balance on his nose hit the floor with a clatter. Rolling onto his stomach, he propped his chin on his folded arms instead. "I want to take you on a date."

"And after epic fail number four how do you suggest we make this work?" She asked curiously.

Adrien paused for dramatic effect... "Disguises."

Sensing that their homework was about to be abandoned for the moment, she set her book aside and swiveled her desk chair around to give her adorably hopeful boyfriend her undivided attention. "Seriously?"

"Well I'm not really seeing any other way for us to go out in public without it being plastered all over social media and then having our time together cut short by my bodyguard dragging me home kicking and screaming."

That was the unfortunate downside to dating a celebrity. It never seemed to matter where they went, someone always recognized Adrien and "pajama girl" (as his fans officially dubbed her) giving away their location to a disapproving Nathalie and stone-faced Gorilla. It always ended the same, instead of the sweet goodnight kiss she'd always dreamed of, Adrien was ushered away casting longing glances over his shoulder.

By necessity most of their dates took place on her rooftop after what their parents would consider a decent bedtime.

"You know I don't mind keeping this on the down low," she said gently.

"I know..." He sighed, sitting up with a pout, "It’s just...your my girlfriend. I want to be able to go see a movie with you or go to the park or just hold your hand without it being a huge fiasco. I love you. You're not a dirty secret I want to hide." He reached out a hand to her, his green eyes imploring.

"I love you too," she replied, her heart melting right down to her toes as snuggled into his side. There was nothing better than the feeling of his arms around her and she rested her head on his shoulder not needing anything more than this. But actually finishing a date would be lovely too. "On the bright side, we made it past the previews last time."

"I want to see the whole movie," he whined.

"You just want to make out in the back row," she laughed.

"If your lips happen to accidentally bump into mine, I can't be held responsible for what happens after that."

"Dork."

Adrien tilted his head just enough to meet her gaze, his grin soft and adoring. "But I'm your dork."

"And don't you forget it," she agreed, reaching up to press a smacking kiss to his jaw.

**********

Three days later Marinette was beginning to seriously rethink her life choices.

“Um... Kitty... that’s a dress,” she pointed out hesitantly while simultaneously resisting the urge to massage her temples. 

Adrien nodded excitedly and she suspected that if her boyfriend were suited up as his feline alter ego his would be bouncing on the balls of his feet with pent up exuberance. “Exactly. It's genius.”

Apparently someone was taking this “disguise” thing way too seriously.

“Okay. You got me,” she admitted, taking the open garment bag and hanging it on her closet door. Settling her hands on her hips, she pinned Adrien with an exasperated glare, “When you said disguise I did not expect you to go this far. I should have, of course, because you don’t know how to do anything subtly you ornery cat!”

“I told him this was a stupid idea,” Plagg chimed in, his voice carrying over from the vicinity of Marinette’s desk. 

Adrien beamed, completely unperturbed by her ire. “Trust me, Bugaboo. Its bold and daring and it will totally work. I called in a favor from Claudine. She hooked me up with an outfit and accessories guaranteed to fool the public and micromanaging fathers alike.”

There were probably a million ways this could go wrong but it was hard to hold on to that thought when her partner smiled at her like that, like they could do anything as long as it was together, and pulled her into his arms. 

“If you say so,” she relented, her posture slumping as her willpower caved faster than a house of cards.

“I know so,” he dropped a peck on her lips. Then wagged his brows exaggeratedly. “Now make me pretty.”

“I can't believe I'm letting you talk me into this,” she groaned, laughter seeping into her words.

Adrien’s expression sobered, the edges of his grin dimming. “This is outrageous. If you don't want to, I get it. I won’t be mad or anything. I just thought since we both have today free we could do something but we can stay he-”

‘Hey, it’s fine,” she hastened to reassure, pressing her fingers to his mouth to stop his rambling, “A little unorthodox, I'll admit, but I’m not going to pass up the chance to spend time with you.”

Especially since her audacious, shameless flirt of a boyfriend was willing to disguise himself as girl just to take her out on a real date. 

It was kind of sweet really. 

“Even if I want to make out with you in a dark theater?” he asked hopefully. 

Aaaaand then the little shit had to ruin it. Still, she loved him, crazy bits and all.

Smiling, Marinette rolled her eyes. “Even then.”

Adrien reluctantly let her go but continued to watch her curiously as she gathered her make-up supplies and placed them on her desk. 

When she motioned for him to come closer, he complied with a bit of Chat Noir’s swagger. “I'm so lucky,” he crowed, “I get to be the first boy and girl you've ever kissed.”

Sometimes he made it too easy.

“Are you sure I've never kissed another girl before?” she asked cheekily.

Adrien blinked, doing his best impersonation of a fish. “What?!”

It was Marinette’s turn to giggle as she pushed him down into her desk chair. “Now sit down and keep still,” she instructed, bopping him on the nose with a wink, ” I'm going to make you pretty.”

***********

Adrien looked remarkably stunning, if Marinette did say so herself.

She supposed she could see why Gabriel used Adrien as the face of his brand. The boy was handsome in his own right; with his slim build, mesmerizing emerald eyes and warm, inviting smile. But all of that was tempered with a softness, a genuine measure of beauty and inherent grace that, while not at all adnrogenous when in his natural state, certainly lent itself well when masquerading as the opposite sex.

The sundress Adrien was wearing was a gorgeous floral print that hung down past his knees with a matching cardigan covering his arms. A padded bra gave the illusion of breasts and the honey-brown wig that fell past his shoulders appeared as silky smooth as her own midnight locks. Cute, strappy sandals and a face full of artfully applied war paint had him turning heads as he walked beside her.

He was completely right, no one would recognize him in this get up. 

If only he’d quit looking over his shoulder every five seconds.

Marinette side-eyed Adrien as she bumped his elbow with her own. “Will you relax already. No one is paying us any attention.” 

He laughed, a touch of self-consciousness peeking through and cast another anxious look around the busy street. “I feel like Nathalie is going pop up over my shoulder any second,” he winced. “By the way, if she does, we run like hell. Got it?”

Unable to help herself, Marinette snarked, “Can you run in those sandals?” 

“Probably better than you can,” he shot back, snickering at her narrowed eyes, his lip gloss glistening in the afternoon sun.

Marinette pouted. “Wow. I can't even deny that.”

Adrien laughed and the carefree sound was infectious, eliciting an answering laugh from Marinette. Then he glanced around again, looking anything but inconspicuous, but just like before, no one was paying them any mind.

When he caught her watching him, he arched a brow in question. “What?”

“You look happy and that makes me happy,” she beamed.

“Being with you is the best part of my day,” he admitted, the pink dusting his cheek bones having nothing to do with the blush she’d applied earlier. Tentatively he caught her hand, entwining his fingers with hers. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Sometimes I'm afraid I made you up inside my head... like I'll close my eyes and you'll disappear.”

It was easy to forget that behind Adrien’s fearless disposition and cheeky sense of humor he was only a boy with a heart as delicate as it was loyal but bruised in ways he’d never deserved. The reminders always made her own heart hurt. 

Keeping the mood light, she chose her teasing words carefully, “You’re stuck with me buddy. I'm not going anywhere without you.”

He squeezed her hand. “Promise?”

“With all my heart.” Feeling puckish, she leaned up and pressed a swift kiss to his cheek. 

“Goddamn, I love you,” he grinned.

“I know.” The mirroring grin didn’t leave Marinette’s face for the rest of the afternoon. 

***********

Later that night, just as Marinette was settling in under her covers, there was a scratching at her skylight. Turning on her bedside light, she flipped open the latch and Chat Noir tumbled in, landing on her mattress with a light bounce. 

He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek in greeting before a bright flash of green light lit up her bedroom.

“You know where the cheese is,” she said to Plagg, shaking her head in amusement as he blew her a kiss before zipping off to phase through her trap door. 

Taking in Adrien’s damp hair, freshly scrubbed face and ladybug pj’s, Marinette sternly reigned in her excitement. His impromptu sleepovers were definitely one of her guilty pleasures. 

“Hi,” he smiled sweetly.

"I didn't expect to see you so soon," she remarked casually, her heart fluttering.

"I know we have school in the morning but I was driving Plagg crazy and he just wanted me to shut up so he suggested we come here and I'll use any excuse I can to see you so here we are." He rubbed the back of his neck, his expression apologetic. "We can go if it's a problem."

"Don't be silly," she scolded with a laugh, pulling back the covers so he could slide in beside her. "I sleep better when you next to me anyway."

"Really? 'Cause I can be here every night. Just say the word."

"Easy there, Romeo. I may sleep better knowing you're here but my parents most definitely won't," she reasoned, curling into his side and resting her chin on his shoulder.

He pressed a kiss to her nose, holding her tight. "We're good at keeping it PG. They should be proud."

She smiled wryly. "I don't think it works that way, Kitty."

“I’ll tell you what did work…” he sing-songed, “That’s right. My disguise.”

“Great, here we go.” She loved him and this was about to become a testament to how much.

“Come on,” he wheedled, “just admit it. I’m a genius.”

And enable her boyfriend to be even more insufferable? Um. No.

Instead, Marinette rolled her eyes fondly. “You’re something alright.” 

“But it was pretty awesome to have a date go uninterrupted for once,’ he sighed happily. 

“It was,” she agreed, allowing him that much.

“And making out was pretty nice too,” he teased, his voice dropping suggestively. “Imagine the possibilities.”

“Of us being lesbians?” she asked drly. 

“Of how much more time we could spend together.” he corrected.

“As lesbians?”

“Marinette!” he cried, pouting. 

Oh, that pout was evil and sexy and it made her tummy do funny things. Grrr. She was Ladybug, damn it! She was made of sterner stuff than this!

Marinette Dupain-Cheng would not succumb to _the pout_!

She lasted five seconds and then crumbled spectacularly. “Oh my god. You are ridiculous. Fine. You're a genius.”

Adrien’s eyes fairly sparkled with suppressed laughter. “Thank you. I knew you would come to appreciate my advanced intellect,” he replied, graciously smug. 

“Smart ass.”

“All of me is smart. So glad you noticed,” he winked.

Marinette bit her cheek to keep from cracking. “I'm going to sleep now.”

“That is the smart thing to do.”

“Knock it off or this pillow will smart when it hits your face,” she warned, her lips twitching.

“Okay. Okay. I give.”

Satisfied, she kissed him soundly before resting her head on his shoulder. “Goodnight, Kitty.”

“Sweet dreams my fierce little ladybug,” he whispered softly, before reaching over and plunging her bedroom into darkness. 

**********

"Good morning my fellow prisoners in this institution of torture otherwise known as school." Alya greeted, bleary eyed and rumpled as she slumped into her seat.

Marinette frowned. "You pulled another all nighter didn't you?"

"My little sisters are sick and they cried all night long. My brain is soup and I'm hella grumpy," she whined pitifully, dropping her head into her folded arms.

Nino patted her hair gently. "It's okay to be grumpy, babe."

"I love you but I will stab you with my pencil. Repeatedly," was Alya's muffled reply.

Adrien looked between the two with a shit-eating grin. "If that's what you guys are into...."

Nino snickered. Alya raised her middle finger.

Chuckling at their antics, Marinette produced the pastry box that was hidden in her book bag. "Here. The parental units sent sustenance."

That was enough to rouse Alya into the land of the living once more. She made grabby hands at the box just as a shadow fell over their table.

"Good morning everyone," Lila intruded, smiling brilliantly. Her attention instantly shifted to Adrien adopting an air of concern that was quite convincing. "Adrien, can we talk for a moment? Privately."

Adrien shared a confused look with his companions and shrugged. "We can talk right here."

Lila's practiced smile faltered right on cue. "Okay, If you're sure...," she paused, clutching her cell phone as if torn. "I really hate to be the one to tell you this... Here. Look." She thrust her phone into Adrien's hands.

Adrien's eyes widened. "Shit!"

Unlike Alya and Nino, Marinette didn't crane her neck to look at the picture on Lila's phone screen. Everything she needed to know was written in her nemesis' triumphant glare.

Alya's "Girl, what the hell?" hissed low and directly in her ear was not unexpected. Still, Marinette flinched from the amount of venom in the simple accusation.

Nino's "Dude, seriously? For the first time in the history of our friendship you take my advice and this is when you decide to listen to me?" was not expected. Neither was his horrified amusement as looked back and forth between Lila's phone and Adrien's strained expression.

"But it worked," Adrien pointed out, not daring to look behind him.

The exchange was not missed by Alya and her glare took on a shrewd edge as she snatched the phone from Adrien's slack grip "Wait. Let me see that."

All the while Lila's gloating stare bore holes into Marinette's patience and the urge to slap the two-faced brat grew stronger with each passing second.

Suddenly the growing tension was broken by Nino as he began to hum which had Adrien joining with vocals.

"Lola, lo lo lo lo Lola..."

Sporting identical shit-eating grins, both boys chanced a look at Lila but as her expression grew increasingly more confused it was too much and they erupted into hysterical laughter.

Marinette groaned as their ruckus drew the attention of the rest of the classroom.

Basking in the attention, Lila furrowed her brow and added just the right amount of sympathetic concern to her projected voice as she said, "Marinette is cheating on you. I'm not sure how you can find this funny."

Everyone turned to look at Marinette, varying degrees of censure in their glares.

Alya grimaced, seeing the bigger picture unfolding before her, and leaned closer to her best friend. "Holy shit," she asked under her breath, "did Adrien really wear that in public?"

Marinette could only nod. "Yup."

"Lila, what's going on?" Rose asked tentatively.

Plucking her phone from Alya's grasp, Lila waved it triumphantly. "I have pictures of Marinette cheating on Adrien." She gestured to Adrien as he wiped the wetness from his eyes, residual tremors of laughter still shaking his shoulders, and her feigned worry couldn't entirely hide the smug quirk to her lips. "I think he's in denial, the poor dear."

Mylene cocked her head, incredulous. "Marinette, why would you do that?"

"Yeah. That don't make sense. You've been in love with Adrien for forever," added Alix.

Before Marinette could respond- not that she had the faintest idea of what to say to get out of this mess- Lila perched herself on the end of Adrien's desk and took his hand between both her own. "You are so brave for trying to find the best in this situation. I know how upset you must be about this?"

Marinette didn't have to see her boyfriend's face to know his smile was more of a grimace.

"I would be upset if your assumption wasn't a huge misunderstanding. But even if it was what it looked like- which it isn't, but if it was then I think this should remain between Marinette and myself," Adrien replied politely as he extricated his hand from Lila's claws. "I do have a question for you, though." He smiled, all sun and sweetness. "Why do you keep harassing Marinette?"

Lila blinked, her mouth opening and closing, clearly unprepared to take the hot seat in her own inquisition, and floundered to save face. "I... I would never..."

Adrien didn't give her a chance to gain her footing and continued on pleasantly, "Aside from following Marinette yesterday, it seems like every week you find something she's done or said and make a big deal about it. Marinette has asked me to stay out of it and until now I have but honestly," he paused, a glimpse of his anger showing through as his whole demeanor turned icy, his tone smooth as broken glass, "I'm fucking done, Rossi."

Lila blanched, hastily removing herself from his desk.

While the rest of Mlle Bustier's class gaped at Adrien losing his cool, Alya tagged herself in the ring and rushed in swinging. "Sunshine has a point. You do blame Marinette for everything. What gives, Lila?" she snapped.

"Don't turn this around on me," Lila cried, her mouth pulling down into a wounded pout. "I'm not the one who made out with another girl. That's just gross."

That wasn't the wisest thing she could've said and Lila realized it right about the time Rose gasped and Juleka pushed her hair back, cracking her knuckles. "It's not gross, it's a preference. If you have something to say Lila then say it."

Seeing that she wasn't winning the group over this time, Lila back-peddaled, fast and furious. "No offense intended. You and Rose are adorable, truly, and Marinette should take lessons from you on how to treat her boyfriend. All I'm trying to say is, if Marinette is keeping secrets then Adrien has a right to know."

A right to know...

Was Lie-la insinuating that Adrien didn't really know her at all?

Marinette could deal with the lies. She was strong enough to shoulder the blame. She and Adrien knew the truth and that was all that really mattered...

But to suggest that Adrien didn't know her inside and out, as if they hadn't bled for each other, as if he wasn't her other half in every way imaginable...

How dare that _bitch_!

It wouldn't do to give Lila the reaction she was after, so Marinette took a deep breath and silently prayed to Tikki for patience. Resting her chin in her palm as if this whole debacle was meaningless, she spoke calmly and concise so there would be no _misunderstanding_... "I don't have to explain anything to you, Lila, but since you seem to think you know more about my relationship with Adrien than we do, I'm going to say this: Adrien knows everything about me from my favorite color to what kind of toothpaste I use. He knows how my mind works and he understands that I place more importance on how someone makes me feel than I do looks and gender. He knows that when I love someone I will do anything for them and I would never be ashamed to be with them because, unlike you, I don't particularly care what anyone else thinks of me. But most of all, Adrien knows that I love him with all of my heart and nothing you say or do is ever going to change that."

Clutching her phone hard enough to shatter it, Lila countered, "Why don't you let Adrien speak for himself."

"What she said," Adrien beamed, jerking his thumb toward Marinette..

Lila could do nothing but glare, seething fury crackling behind her olive eyes.

Marinette grinned, thin and razor sharp. "Please feel free to keep trying. I do enjoy watching you make a spectacle of yourself."

For a long moment, no one said anything, all eyes on Lila as the gears in her head worked to find a new angle. Finally she spoke to Adrien, ignoring Marinette all together, "You might do better dating a girl that's actually straight, just saying."

Adrien caught Nino's eye, a silent request for backup, and shrugged. "Why does it have to be one or the other? Labeling myself as straight or gay is like saying I'll only eat vanilla ice cream or I'll only eat chocolate. Why would I do that when swirl is an option?" 

Nino nodded. "I like rocky road personally."

"Oooh good one," Adrien snickered, bumping his fist with Nino's.

Lila glanced between Nino and Adrien looking like she swallowed a lemon. "Hold on, are you... are you bi?"

Nino clutched a hand to his chest with an exaggerated expression of longing. "There's no point in hiding it anymore. Our bromance will not be denied." He opened his arms to Adrien. "Duuuuude!"

"Duuuuuude!" Adrien cried, glomping Nino for all he was worth, nearly knocking his bro off of his side of the bench.

Alya clapped a hand over her mouth to hold back her laughter. "We're dating five year olds."

"Yup," Marinette agreed, rolling her eyes so hard that nearly fell out of her head.

Flushing red, Lila glanced about the tittering classroom and with visible effort reigned in her temper, going for the wounded approach instead. "Are you making fun of me? I was only trying to be helpful. There is no need to be rude."

Adrien didn't bat an eye. "Aww. We're just messing around. No harm no foul, right?"

"I suppose so," Lila smiled, her voice a tad too sweet. "But... this is so.... so strange. You can't blame me for being concerned. You shouldn't have to demean yourself for Marinette's sake. She isn't always a nice person and I-"

Cutting her off rudely, Adrien scoffed, "Funny how _you_ are the only person that feels that way."

If Adrien weren't sitting in front of her with a table between them Marinette would have kissed him. Since she couldn't, she used her mouth a different way. "Would it kill you to quit lying for once?"

"Puh-lease," Lila laughed haughtily, "This is a simple misunderstanding. That's hardly the same as lying."

"Twisting the truth _is_ lying," Marinette muttered softly, earning a startled look from Alya. Louder she said, "Since you misunderstood the situation I’m sure you'll just try twice as hard to make me look bad next time.”

Folding her arms, Lila’s hard won poise hung by a thread as she glared back at Marinette with terrible eyes. “You could try to be nicer to me, Marinette. I don't understand how you deserve to remain class president with that attitude.”

Marinette surged to her feet, hands curling into claws. If Lie-la wasn’t going to shut her whore mouth then she would happily do it for her. 

Realizing that things were about to get real, Adrien wasted no time joining Marinette and slinging an arm over her shoulder, partly to keep her from lunging over the desk and partly as a show of solidarity to everyone. “I would greatly appreciate if you would refrain from talking shit about my girlfriend. I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish by antagonizing her but I strongly suggest you stop. If push comes to shove I will take Marinette's side. Every. Single. Time.”

Leaning into Adrien’s side, Marinette arched a delicate brow, not having to say a word. 

Seeing that this round was lost, Lila admitted defeat as graciously as she could while dying a little on the inside. “That's so sweet of you, Adrien.” Swallowing hard, as if the words were sticky in her throat, she cringed, “Well, as long as you’re alright why don’t we put this whole thing behind us and forget about it, okay?”

“Already forgotten, right hot stuff?” Marinette smirked. 

“Absolutely right, cream puff,” he laughed pressing a kiss to her temple. 

Like clockwork, as soon as the drama was over Mlle Bustier entered the classroom, smiling brightly and breaking the tension still lingering in the air. Sulking, Lila fled back to her seat and Adrien reluctantly returned to his own.

Still, the righteous anger simmering in Marinette’s blood was slower to dissipate. But it certainly helped when Alya pulled her contemplative stare from Lila and gave Marinette a contrite grin, “Girl, we are so talking later. I think I owe you some apologies.” She winced, “Many, many apologies.”

Marinette simply nodded. “Yup.”

*****************

Rushing to her last class of the day, Marinette was not paying attention when a hand shot out and grasped her wrist, tugging her into the dark janitorial closet. 

"Ayah!” she cried, ready to throw a punch as the door closed behind her.

“Shhh! It's just me,” came Adrien’s voice from the darkness and she thought she just might be able to make out his shape if she squinted. Familiar arms pulled her closer and the scent of chemicals wasn’t so bad when her boyfriend tucked his face into her throat. “I'm so sorry about this morning,” he mumbled into her skin.

“That wasn't your fault,” she soothed, carding her fingers through his hair.

“I should have thought that disguise through better. I feel like I gave her ammunition to use.”

“If it wasn't that she'd have found something else,” Marinette sighed, tingles shooting down her spine every time his lips moved.

“Okay, maybe that's true, but I don-”

“We have about twenty minutes in here, if we're lucky. I really don't want to waste another second on Lie-la, do you?” she breathed against his ear, then nipped the lobe with her teeth to drive the point home.

“Nope,” he followed her lead like a good kitty and nipped at her pulse point then carefully kissed away the sting, “I'd much rather make out with my amazing, fierce, smoking hot girlfriend.”

“I was hoping my wicked smart boyfriend would say that,” she laughed, the rest of the world all but forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah… I was listening to the song and everything went downhill from there.  
> I have three more Lila salt fics in mind but they are definitely on the angsty side and one for sure will end a cataclysm to Lila’s face. If you guys are interested I’ll try to jot them down.  
> Songs:  
> “Laid” by James  
> “Lola” by The Kinks


End file.
